Parent Instinct: A Therapist's Perspective
Following parent intuition or “gut instincts” is something that I like to encourage parents who come see me in my practice. Here’s why: the parent is almost ALWAYS right!
It makes me sad, angry, and frustrated when I have a parent in my office tell me that their concerns were dismissed by another healthcare professional. In my opinion, as a healthcare professional, you have 2 options:
- Address the concerns using best practice
or
- VALIDATE then educate
Most healthcare professionals are taught only to do number 1 in school. We are taught science. The art of our practice is getting proficient at the validation and education part.
Typically, when a parent is concerned about their child’s development, it’s the parent's intuition that is telling them something is off. The parent’s concerns need to be taken seriously and need to be addressed by the proper healthcare provider. I have rarely completed an evaluation on an infant when the parent has had very specific concerns and found nothing to be done about said concerns. You, the parent, know your child best. Therefore, I act as a resource for typical development, not a provider who knows what is best for this specific child.
Too often I get a parent in my office who has seen 3 different providers for the same concern and none of them validated, educated, or provided the best treatment plan. The parent leaves feeling like their parent's intuition is wrong and they learn to not trust their gut. We as providers in this space are responsible for encouraging parents to use their parent instincts to care for their child. Shooting a parent’s concerns down only causes more confusion and stress for the family.
Once in a while, I will get a patient in my office whose parents are concerned, and their concerns are coming from excessive anxiety or a lack of understanding of typical development. These cases are simple to care for. Validate that the parent is acting on their intuition, then educate about why this is not an area of concern using science and norm values for reference. Bringing the parent back to the present and highlighting the child’s abilities will help lessen the anxiety the parent is feeling.
To all the parents out there: If you do not agree with an answer that you hear from a healthcare provider, ALWAYS get a second opinion. If something feels off with your child, go get an evaluation or consultation. If you still think something is off, find a provider who will address your concerns and either provide the best treatment OR validate and educate so that your initial concerns fade away.
